Stuffed Cribbage, er, I Mean Cabbage

Just got done with a fine evening of beers with some good friends. Leaving, I realized I hadn't posted in a while and that I mentioned a stuffed cabbage recipe that warrants some note. I found it in a French cookbook I have and have been stumbling across the picture thinking, "How interesting, I have to try that." Not until last night did I enjoy it with a very special friend—so much so, that I thought I'd share it with you all.

Take note, this should be drank with, the entire time while cooking (approx. 2 hours), very cheap red wine...

Braised Stuffed Cabbage

Serves 6-8

2 medium green cabbages
1 lb pork sausage meat (ground pork, seasoned with a little love)
4 tomatoes, peeled, chopped
7 slices of bacon, chopped into bits
2 handfuls of slivered almonds, pan-toasted (olive oil in a pan with the almonds over heat does this. Careful not to burn them.)
2 eggs
4 handfuls of breadcrumbs
2 cloves garlic, chopped
X # of thyme sprigs, chopped (I don't know how much you like thyme)
X # of sage leaves, chopped (I also don't know how much you like sage)
3/4 large yellow onion, diced
2 shallots, diced
2 large carrots, diced
2 medium pototos, diced
2 stalks celery, diced
Handful of parsley, chopped fine
Half a lemon
3 tbsp butter
1.5 glasses white wine (dry vermouth)
2 cups chicken stock
a small towel or some cheese cloth and some string
salt and pepper

Here we go. Have a sip of your cheap wine, I hope you bought a bottle for yourself 'cuz this takes a while...

Boil some water, score the tomatoes across the tops, and drop them in for about 30 seconds. Take them out, let them cool until you can hold them and peel them. Put the tomatoes on a cutting board and cut them into quarters. Take the quarters and squeeze out the seeds and juice. All you really want is the meat of the tomatoes for this. What this does is make them less bitter later when you're cooking them. So clean them out but don't be a perfectionist. If you feel the need to get rid of every seed, have some more wine or call your therapist. It's not that important.

Next, mix the pork, bacon, tomato, breadcrumbs, almonds, eggs, sage, thyme, garlic and onion to make what will be the stuffing. Add salt and pepper but don't taste (there's raw pork in there stupid.) Set aside. Drink wine.

Now we have to do the cabbage. This is a PAIN but it's worth it. Take the cabbages and wash them thoroughly. Peel each leaf off the cabbage, watching not to tear the leaves, as deep as you can go. That's right, I said peel the cabbage. This is a French recipe, so think about what Frenchman (or woman) thought to peel a cabbage. This stage seems very ridiculous when you're doing it. Don't give up.

Once you've got leaves off both the cabbages, hearts kept for later, boil some water with the juice of half a lemon. Blanche the leaves. Again. This is French so think, "More wine, this is stupid."

Lay the blanched leaves out on the towel with the heart/stem side in the middle, overlapping a little bit. Makes a sun shape. Smear evenly some of the stuffing over the sun shape leaving about 2 inches border around the outer edges. Layer another set of leaves to cover, smear more stuffing, repeat until you're out of stuffing or leaves.

Drink more wine.

Take the towel or cheesecloth and bring the edges up for tying so that the cabbage thing in the middle makes a ball. Tie it fairly tight but don't force anything.

In a large pot, one that can be covered and will fit the ball, throw in the butter and saute the the shallots, carrots, celery and potato for oh... about 4 minutes. Season. Don't burn the butter so watch the heat. Then add the wine and boil for about 3 minutes. Add the chicken stock, boil for a few minutes.

Lower the cabbage ball in the towel onto/into the braise. This seems very weird, I know, but don't worry it's French and for some reason, won't burn. Make sure you're on a low temperature, only simmering the liquid with the vegetables and cover. Let simmer for an hour and 15 minutes. This is why you should have a bottle to yourself ready 'cuz this part takes some time. You know it's done when you can stick a knife into the center and when you pull it out the tip is hot to the touch.

It will smell incredibly good but don't uncover it unless you're scary paranoid and think the towel is burning or you messed something up. I assure you you're ok, but if you don't believe me... lay off the cocaine or call your therapist.

When the time's up, remove the ball and put it on a grate or somewhere to drain. Let it drain for about 4-5 minutes. If you're drunk, set a timer. Remove the towel and cut into wedges like a pie to serve.

Serve on a recessed plate with a couple spoonfuls of the braising liquid and vegetables on bottom, and 1 wedge per person. It's fairly rich so watch the size of the wedge. Sprinkle with some of the parsley for color with a shot of fresh pepper.

Don't Try This at Home Kids

I had a strange craving today. I'm not even going to get into how long it's been since the last post, took a vacation, got busy, excuse, excuse. So I had a weird craving today. Shrimp... and Beans. That's right, shrimp and beans. I decided I'd make 2 things that don't go together at all and eat them.

Don't try this at home.

These 2 recipes are incredibly easy and very good but they don't go together at all. You shouldn't even try this if you have one for lunch and one for dinner. Not even on the same day should these 2 find themselves on your menu.

However, do try them separately, they're very tasty.

Garlic Shrimp Tapas

Serves 2:

12 medium shrimp, cleaned, tails left on
6 gloves of garlic, chopped rough
Some Brandy
Some Olive Oil
Salt, Pepper

Heat the olive oil and quickly soften the garlic in it. This is super fast so be sure to keep paying attention. Throw the shrimps in after seasoning them and cook about 2-3 minutes each side. Dribble about 4 tablespoons of brandy in there and let it go for another 2 minutes. Done. On a plate and eat.

Bean Soup

Serves A Lot:

1 onion, diced
2 carrots, diced
2 stalks of celery, diced
1 bag (about 2 cups) of pinto beans
1 ham shank, split (ask the butcher to split it.)
3 tbsp sour cream
1 tsp flour
Dry Thyme
2 Bay Leaves
Cayenne pepper
Salt, Pepper
Olive Oil
White Vinegar (optional)

Combine the onion, carrots and celery in a little oil and soften. Wash the dry beans and add and cover over about 2 inches over with water. Add Salt and Pepper, bay leaves, a good amount of thyme, the cayenne and the ham shank. Boil for about an hour or until the beans loosen up and get soft. Combine the sour cream and the flour in a little cup with a tiny bit of water and whisk with a fork. Add enough water to make it runny. Once the beans are soft add the sour cream mixture and stir in. Bring to a boil, keep stirring. Taste and season again. When fully incorporated, serve with the white vinegar.

I've never been to Senegal, Soup.

Ok, I only heard this is senseless soup. I was watching TV and Emeril (I know, I know, I like the guy) brought up a recipe. I was found with very weird things in my fridge and I happened to have what was needed along with some left over potato. I mean c'mon, it's soup made from peanut butter!

Honestly though, it's delicious. I substituted some stuff like yogurt for coconut milk and veal for chicken stock but this is just superb as a basic idea no matter what you use for dairy substitute or stock. I even threw in some left over roasted red potatoes instead of grilled chicken. You get the idea, as a base this carries pretty far. I can imagine it working very well with green beans too, full length so they feel like giant noodles.

What you need:

1/2 jar of peanut butter
1/3 cup of plain yogurt
2 medium yellow onions, sliced
4 cups of stock (I had veal, you use chicken. Don't use beef)
Tumeric
Cayenne Pepper
Salt/Pepper
Olive Oil

Here's how we do. Little bit of oil in the pot and get the onion going. Throw some salt over it with 5 or 6 good hits of Tumeric and maybe 3 or 4 hits of Cayenne. The onions, as they sweat will pick up the powder and it'll be a searing orange-red. Let the onions go until they're soft, but don't brown them.

Add in the peanut butter. I used chunky 'cause that's what I like with my jelly but you can use any you like. Add the yogurt with the stock and keep stirring until it simmers. Lower the heat and let and simmer for about 30 to 40 minutes. It'll mature while it goes. When it's ready, grab a hand blender and blend until smooth. Add your chicken or leftover potato as it might be afterward and insure you heat through.

Before you serve, grab any green herb you might have and chop it fine to float in the middle. If you want to get fancy, throw on some chunks of feta, sheep or other goat cheese.

I think I had a lager beer with this, but it's been a while now and don't quite remember. Hope you dig it.

Pesto! Pasta! Fresh Paizan!

It's been quite some time since I've been on here and I've got quite a few recipes ready for you. I'm going to come in easy with a pesto that's just as exquisite as it is simple. I came up with this one when I was making some risotta that required thyme. Couldn't find and thyme so I substituted mint. (I know, you're wondering, what's the risotto recipe that needed so much thyme?? Be patient my friends, I'm sure it'll rise up here sooner or later.)

So I was hanging out, doing some work at home and I realized I didn't have much food in the fridge... Little bit of pasta, some herbs (left over from a previous recipe) and some simple general ingredients I happened to have in the fridge.

No time, got too much to jot down... Here's what you need for Fresh Paisan Pesto:

Here's what you need:

1 bunch Mint
1 bunch Basil
Grated Romano Cheese
Nuts (deeeez nuts!) I use peanuts because I'm allergic to most all others.
Grape Tomatos
1 Tbsp butter
Olive oil
Salt and Pepper
1lb Linguine


Easy as pie. Even though pie is pretty complicated. Get the pasta a boilin'. Take your mint and basil and throw it in blender with a handful and half of peanuts and 2 hands of cheese. Pour in about, oh, 2 seconds of olive oil and whirr. Whirr some more, add oil if it isn't moving well but not too much. Taste, add salt and pepper. That's your sauce.

When the linguine is al dente, drain, add back to pot add butter and toss until coated. Add sauce, toss some more. Cut Grape Tomatos in half and garnish with half handful per plate. Refreshing way to do pasta and it's cheap and fast.

Here’s to a Shaved Head, the Hustle, and Some Kung-Fu.

Sideways came out on DVD and I’m watching it right now. I’m looking forward to seeing Kung Fu Hustle tomorrow and, as you might imagine, I have just finished a really great meal that I’ve got to tell you about. Oh, and I shaved my head.

You see I haven’t written here in a while as I had a friend of mine staying with me. This means I haven’t cooked in a while and am pretty much broke because of all the eating out. It wasn’t as though I was interested in cooking for him.

I did, by the way, once. It was a What’s-Left-In-The-Fridge Risotto that wasn’t worth discussing. We argued about some stupid, stupid shit but don’t worry, I wore a nice African print skirt and really showed him who was boss…

Right so on to tonight’s menu, I want to get back to this movie.

Yellow Onion, Mango, Baby Greens Salad with Mango Vinaigrette

Organic Baby Greens
2 Mangos
1 Yellow Onion
Olive Oil
Red Wine Vinegar

Wash the greens and leave them to dry off. Peel the Mangos and cut off the meat. Chop up roughly and reserve about quarter cup. Chop the onion finely and reserve about an eighth cup. Combine the reserved Mango and Onion in mixer, add Wine Vinegar to taste, Season and Mix drizzling in the Olive Oil slowly. Keep on with it ‘til it thickens. Toss over the Greens and the rest of the Mangos and Onion.

This is a sharp salad. The onions are very sharp but notice how the Mango mellows them. Even though this may not be a date salad per se lighten up on the onion to compensate for that and enjoy it with any friend.


Simple Seasoned New York Steak with Chopped Brussels Sprouts, Ginger and Sheep Cheese

Deal with the steak however you wish. That’s your thing. But try out this Brussels side. It was awesome and it’s simple.

2 handfuls Brussels Sprouts, finely chopped
1 teaspoon finely chopped/grated Ginger
¼ cup Sheep Cheese (substitute Feta or Gorganzola)
2 tbsp butter
Olive Oil
Olive oil and butter in a pan (Jesus this movie’s uncomfortable. I love it.) Throw on the Brussels. Add the ginger. Saute until it softens slightly but try to keep some of it’s crisp. Take off the heat and fold in the cheese.

Ok so on that note, I’m going to finish off this Merlot. Yes, Merlot. From Chile God damn it, even.

Cheers and Bon Appetit

Le Franch. Les Fufu. Le Ça Va?

This needs to be quick.

Onion Soup. You think it's something crazy, something off the wall, something French and complicated. But it's not. It's basically like everything else that's French, it's simple, somewhat historically refined and basically just based in peasantry. Therefore, leftovers.

Nothing against the French, really. No really. Nothing against the French.

So French Onion Soup has always been one of those things that I love in restaurants and won't make myself. But since I watch a shit load of cooking shows and stuff, I saw a chef on TV (won't say who it is) make an onion soup. Now, I wouldn't be devulging that I've taken and used ideas from TV and TV chefs. It's all right. I doubt they're mad. We're all friends here... Me and my keyboard and this glass of shitty Bordeaux.

Realized that I had a load of veal stock in the the freezer while I was watching this TV chef make this soup. He was making it with Beef Stock. Well Veal, Beef, this isn't the Micheal Jackson trial, what the hell, I have some leftover veal stock.

French Onion Soup

3 yellow onions, sliced
2 cups veal stock
2 cups chicken stock
5 sprigs thyme, leaves only
2 tbsp butter
Glass of shitty (or shit-tay) white wine
salt, pepper
block o' gruyere cheese
A baguette

Put the sliced onions in a pot on melted butter. Very low heat. Enough to sizzle just a tiny tiny bit but not to saute. Caramelize the onion for about 45 mins to an hour. Yeah yeah, that's the problem it takes a little while. Be patient. Put the thyme in as well. Salt it and go for the duration.

In about an hour it should be browned, like caramel. Deglaze with the white wine. Reduce by half, pour the stocks over it, re-season and simmer for a half an hour.

Meanwhile make some croutons out of slices of the baguette. Broil slices of it in the oven for just a few minutes. I thought it would take a while and I burned 5 slices while I was writing this. Now my place is all smokey.

Anyways. Put a couple croutons on the bottom of an oven safe bowl, ramekin, or whatever they call those things they serve onion soup in. Put a big pinch of grated gruyere on the croutons. Ladle some of the soup in the bowl but not to the rim. Put another couple croutons on top of that and a shitload (scientific measurement) of grated gruyere on top of that. Put that in the broiler and keep a close eye on it. When it bubbles, let it go for a few more minutes and let it brown just slightly. SLIGHTLY DAMMIT!

Pull out of the oven, let stand for about 3 minutes. It's hot dick, so be careful. Serve.

The Funniest Shit Ever

http://www.savetoby.com/

Bam Beeta Rita, This Is 'bout Yo' Pita!!

Couldn't hold back on this one, I had to put it down. 2 peeps to thank.

Actually it was a couple good friends of mine, the first of whom I'll call A2 for purposes of this discussion, that reminded me that I should take the time to do so. I didn't have the time right then, when she said she was having The Drunken Chef withdrawals, to let her know that I really hadn't been cooking for a while but if maybe she'd have asked her husband, A1 (not the steak sauce), she would've known that I was spending a lot of dough by going out a little too much to eat, lately.

That right there is the kind of sentence that got me through college. Amazing, I know. I'm hugely comma friendly.

The second, and supremely fabulous, I'm only gonna refer to as B, also sparked the flame a little and made me sit down and—type. Thanks B. This pathetic shout out's for you...

So, wrap ya'll 's bad selves 'round this.

I realized this last weekend that it was back to the time that I have to spend a little less dough. I've been going out something fierce and spending a load of money being social and what not so for the first time ever, I've actually had to get a cash advance on my credit card, now for which I'm sadly em-bare-assed. I literally may have a bare ass from this.

Anyways...

Spiced Grilled Chicken, Grilled Veggies, Feta and Yogurt Pitas

Here's what I did.

10 Chicken "Fryer" Thighs (I did this purposely because they were $1.99/lb. 10 of them was 4 1/3 pounds. Yeah. Ch-ch-ch-cheap. You can do boneless/skinless... if you're all like that 'r whatev.

5 Zuchini about 7 inches in length. Sliced in half, length-wise. Be careful to choos ones dat will zlice in halfe length vize.

2 Green bell peppers, cored and sliced by length about .5 inch or so thick.

2 Red bell peppers, cored. 1 of which sliced like the Greens, the other chopped fine.

2 Yellow Onions, sliced circular, only 4 times! You want thick, like what you'd use for onion rings — thick slices. Don't let them fall apart! You want slices, not rings.

Crumbled Feta. IT DOES NOT MATTER how little or how much. If you want to make a Feta cake with some veggies and chicky in it, I don't care. Monitor your own Feta. It's great stuff, low-fat, not THAT great for your ya, but still... You got your own Feta under control, cool?

Cool.

Some Plain Yogurt and some Organic Pita Breads. The organic one's are tastier in my opinion, but if hey, if you want to get crazy and tell me to stick it, I don't care if you use say a Tortilla, or even a Hollowed Sweet Roll. It's endless I tell you, endless. You need a little something to wrap the filling in.

Yes, the chicken, zuchini, bell peppers, feta, onion and yogurt are the filling.

Here we go, here's how we're going to put it together. First heat your grill. I actually did this with a Foreman and you can stop laughing right now, it works great. Get your grill 'Chicken Hot.' If you have a grill, every grill has it's own 'Chicken Hot' except maybe a stovetop, or Foreman Grill. My Foreman was on about a 4 but you know what I'm saying, you have to know your equipment.

Rinse your Chicky Thighs and remove the skin. Ok, Ok, you could have paid your man at the store to do this. You could have not bought the Fryers but bought the Boneless/Skinless. Sure you could have. Or you could do what we're doing. Paying nothing for the same thing.

Rinse your thighs (mind out of gutter, mind out of gutter...) and as you're putting the rinsed thigh down on the cutting board, have a pearing knife ready and as you're pulling the skin off the top of the thigh, help it along with the blade. It comes off all the way, easily, and then it get's stuck. Cut it right there. You'll know what I'm talking about after the first 2. It's right at the edge... 'Bember, lower fat is what we're after.

When you have the thighs all ready to go, cleaned of the skin etc, and your grill is hot to accept chicken, put in a bowl some Olive Oil, Salt (quite a bit of salt), Fresh Ground Pepper, and some of your favorite spices. You can really go crazy here, put whatever spices you want. You want super spicy, go Cayenne or Chili Powder! Middle-Eastern, try Tarragon or Corriander, Cumin... Hell, try crumbled Twinkie!! You get the point.

Thongs, Chicken, Bowl with Olive Oil Mook in It, Grill. That's what's happening.

While the Chicken does it's thing, let's play with veggies. You've got your Zuchini's halved length-wise. They have to be this way so you can deal with them easily on the grill. Same with the size of the Chicken, Onion and Peppers. You're going to chop all of this stuff, eventually, to the size you want in your Pita. You know where I'm going with this, I'm sure. If you like a few giant pieces of Chicken and a very fine vegetable mixture around it, that's the way you're going to make it. Chop the veggies, once grilled (after the Chicken), to whatever fineness you prefer. I like them all super thick. I'm lazy though and chop all this stuff just enough to have pieces. You can make a much finer presentation and much finer taste if you chop some of the veggies a bit more.

Your Chicken is done. Take it off the grill, put the veggies on. In batches if you have to, no problem. The Zuchini, should go skin side down first. Season it. Salt, Ground Pepper, Anything. Put something on it. If you don't season the vegetables when they cook, this dish will be very bland. The only thing seasoned here is the Chicken so far, so be sure to throw at least some salt on the vegetables. Both sides, God damn it. Both sides.

While the veggies are doing their thing at their own speed, grab your cleaver or "B.I.N." (Big Ass Nife) and work the meat of the cooked chicken thighs. Chop 'em up. Obviously with the intent of cleaning the bone, not chopping the bone. Chop the meat off the bone into pieces that you'd like in your filling. Put it in a big pot, or bowl, whatever, just keep in mind the veggies are next, and the cheese and a little bit of yogurt, so make sure it's big enough.

As the veggies get done, the Onion will be first, chop it to the size you want and throw it in the pot.

The last finely chopped Red Pepper don't put that on the grill. Put that in the mixture last for some added crisp...

Now that all the goods are in the pot (are they? Check, look around.) Add the chopped Red Pepper, Crumbled Feta, and maybe a quarter cup of the yogurt. Now, if you're doing this as something to wrap up for lunch like I did, do it this way. If you're doing it to serve, don't put in the yogurt. Put that on top.

Stuff each Pita half with as much filling as it will take and wrap it in some foil. My yield was about 18 Pitas. I mean I've had 2 for lunch today and 3 for dinner so far, and I don't feel like I'm eating anything bad. In actuality, there's hardly any fat and it's packaged, by you, to eat whenever, whatever...